Bairns Hoose Changemakers - A letter to my school
We are working with a group of Changemakers - eight girls under the age of 16 - who have been victims and witnesses of crime. This has led them to being interviewed by police and social work, and to give evidence in court. The Changemakers have received trauma recovery support and are helping us to develop our Bairns Hoose.
They have written the following letter, the second in a series, to help highlight what it feels like to be a child or young person who is a victim or witness to crime. They are keen that everyone understands what it feels like to move through the world once you have experienced a significant traumatic experience.
In this second, powerful letter, they explain how difficult navigating their school days can be and how it affects them to exist in a system where they do not feel seen.
To My School,
We want to start by telling you that we feel angry. We feel that after what we have experienced, the school system has let us down. Now some of us choose not to go to school because for us it does not feel safe.
School should be a place where we can go where we are understood and supported. We have the right to an education and the opportunities you get from school. We should be able to socialise with our friends, get a break from the stresses of home and get a breather from all the police, court and social work we have going on in our life.
We know that we are not the only ones who are struggling. We know our teachers are under pressure and stressed but this makes us feel like we are too much. We do not feel welcome in school because we are not the same as we were before. It feels like you put barriers in our way to make it more difficult for us to attend because this is easier for you. Something bad has happened to us and it feels like we are being treated more harshly than those who have harmed us.
It takes everything to attend school some days because everything feels hard and scary. When we do manage to make it to school our teachers haven’t always been told what we’ve been through, so they don’t understand what we need. As someone who has experienced the worst times you can imagine, even being called on in class feels terrifying. It feels like being picked on. We know we are in school to learn but we need schools that prioritise our mental health and emotional wellbeing, not just how we do in our exams. If you did this, we would feel more able to concentrate and would do better anyway.
Every day we have so much going on in our lives and we have so much to think about, so we need you to be flexible with us. Sometimes following the rules in school can feel so hard. We need you to notice that we are struggling. We are in distress, and we might not show it in ways that are easy for you. Making us stay in class, locking the toilets so we cannot get a break, only makes our feelings grow until they feel out of control.
Some of us have been hurt by another person who goes to our school. This makes it even more scary. It feels that we are being punished when the boys who have hurt us are not. We are still expected to come to school everyday and know they are there. If we act up or show our anger we are treated more harshly and this feels sexist. School should be where boys are taught to respect girls. From when we are young the attitude is “if they hit you or pick on you it is because they like you and can’t show it” - this is not true and lets boys keep hurting us.
All we want is to be treated like people. Show us your human side, show us your empathy, show us you care. Be kind to us because we did not ask for any of this.
From The Changemakers
Individual Participation
To build Scotland's first Bairns Hoose that will support child victims and witness to recover and thrive, it is important that we learn what children, young people, and families who have experiences of the current systems and processes feel needs to change, so it can be led by their voices and experiences. To do this we have developed various ways to listen to children, young people and families, one of which is through our individual participation.
We continuously listen to the opinions, views and concerns of families, and some choose to share their story in a structured way to help influence the needed change that the Bairns Hoose will help to bring. Individual participation offers an opportunity for children and young people to share their stories, ideas, feedback and experiences in a personalised way. The process of sharing their story is a supportive and empowering aspect of their recovery journey.
Below we share two examples of individual participation – the first being Sophie’s Song, and the second is Lydia's poem. Both have been facilitated in a way that both young people have been able to express their experiences and voices in a way that is based on their own strengths and interests.
Read more about the work of the Changemakers and find out more about what a Bairns Hoose is and why it is so important to help child victims and witnesses of crime to recover and thrive.