Scenes depicted in Netflix’s hit drama Adolescence are every parent’s worst nightmare. The hard-hitting programme shines a light on several issues that every family needs to talk openly about – online grooming, coercion, manipulation, bullying, misogyny, violence and the hidden language of emojis.
The digital world is evolving faster than most adults can keep up with. It can be frightening and overwhelming, but we can’t afford to bury our heads in the sand. We must talk openly and often about the dangers of being online with our children.
There are lots of things you can do to keep your child as safe as possible.
What should parents do?
1. Take an interest, even if you don’t always share their enthusiasm. The online world is very important to children, and they’ll use it differently to you. Ask open-ended questions. For example, “I saw something about emojis and their hidden meanings. Have you heard of this?”
2. Work it out together and get curious. Don’t assume! Ask them how they spend time online. What platforms do they use? Who do they follow? What do different emojis mean?
3. Try not to judge. It is important your child knows that you are there to listen and not lecture. Children should not be punished for confiding in a trusted adult.
4. Have open and honest conversations. TV shows or stories in the news can be a good conversation starter. Discuss with your child about how they can be safe and responsible online and the risks of sharing personal information, images, how to handle peer pressure and thinking before posting or sending messages.
5. Agree a plan with your child to check their online usage. Make checking in a normal part of life at home to make sure they are safe.
6. Teach critical thinking as part of honest discussions together. Supporting children to question online content and the motivations behind why people might be posting can help them to stay safe. This can help young people avoid being coerced and manipulated.
It is crucial children understand what could happen online and how you will help them to handle it. This will make it much easier for them to turn to you for support.
Ultimately children need to know that if they do get into a tough situation online that you’ll be there for them and will love them no matter what.
Talk to us
If you are a parent or carer and feel unsure about how to talk to your child about staying safe online or are worried about a child, our support line team is here to help.
Call the Children First support line on 08000 28 22 33 or visit our website to start an online chat at childrenfirst.org.uk.
Emoji explainer
Adolescence has shone a light on how emojis can, in some instances, be used as a coded language with a more sinister meaning.
Educating ourselves as parents or carers about the potential double meanings of some emojis could help us spot if our child is unsafe online.
Below is an explainer of some of the emojis that feature in Adolescence that can have a darker meaning in some contexts:
🔴 Red pill – “I see the truth.” Used in toxic male spaces to mean waking up to supposed hidden ‘truths’ about women and society, often linked to misogynistic ideologies.
🔵 Blue pill – Represents those who are “blind to the truth” or still believe in mainstream views about relationships and gender dynamics.
💥 Dynamite – An “exploding red pill,” meaning someone is a radicalised incel.
Kidney bean – A symbol linked to incel culture, sometimes mocking women.
💯 100 emoji – Tied to the “80/20 rule,” the belief that 80% of women are only attracted to 20% of men.
🕳️ Black hole – Used to express depression, hopelessness, or being sucked into negative online spaces.
🌪️ Tornado – Represents chaos or feeling overwhelmed, sometimes used to indicate mental distress.
🐸 Frog – Associated with alt-right and extremist meme culture, often linked to Pepe the Frog, which has been co-opted by some toxic online groups.
🦅 Eagle – A symbol of extreme nationalism, sometimes used in far-right online spaces.
💀 Skull – While often just slang for “that’s funny” or “I’m dead (from laughing),” in certain groups, it can signal darker themes like nihilism or self-harm.
❤️ 💜 💛 💗 🧡 Heart colours – not just about love!
❤️ = Love
💜 = Lust
💛 = “Are you interested?”
💗 = Interested but not in sex
🧡 = “You’ll be okay”